Can Talking to Strangers Actually Help Us?

Travelers rely on the kindness of strangers. Without them we’d often be lost, hungry, confused and begging for the next flight home. It’s almost as though the stranger only emerges in times of true desperation – whenever your phone runs out of battery, your suitcase is stolen or you find yourself without a bed, a smiling stranger appears to help you find your way. And yet as children we’re haunted by stories of strangers hiding razor blades in candy, driving unmarked vans and harboring sinister intentions towards anyone that crosses their path. We’re not afraid of getting in a car accident, we’re afraid of the next door neighbor.

Children are bathed in a wide-eyed world of trust. They believe that everything they’re told is true, that people are inherently good and that cats have 9 lives. It’s a beautiful, blind world that we live in as children, but our naiveté is inevitably wielded against us as we grow older. Soon we discover that people lie, the world can be a terrible place and our childhood pets will eventually die – and that sucks. We reemerge into the world as adults with a furrowed brow and a sudden distaste for anything that challenges our way of life. Selflessness becomes a fable that is fluffed-up in news stories or an act that underhandedly demands something in return.

At some point we have to relearn how to trust strangers. Why? Because it’s the only way we’ll discover our likeness in the face of a human that we know nothing about. It gives life to empathy that overlooks fundamental differences. I’ve relied on the kindness of strangers from all over the world – people who spoke different languages, practiced different religions and held radically different beliefs from my own. And still they extended an olive branch to me – a stranger – without letting judgement or prejudice hinder their act of giving. Never forget that you’re a stranger, too.

I’m not suggesting that you start hitchhiking or lend your couch to someone (although there are countless people who do so on a daily basis), I’m simply encouraging you to find a little more trust in your day. When you trust a stranger something special happens. A connection is created – an unspoken nod to mutual existence that says “We’re human.” Why is it that strangers emerge in times of trouble? Because we all know what it feels like to be scared. Putting yourself in the place of a stranger reinvigorates the loving acceptance that we so willingly spouted as a child. We’re able to forget our biases and see the stranger as the emotions they’re feeling, rather than the beliefs that they hold.

I can’t promise that every interaction with a stranger will be positive. The world isn’t filled with positive people. I can promise, however, that the exchange of mutual trust will bring us all a little bit closer.

Become the smiling stranger in someone’s story.

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