The Dirty (And Dirtier) Secrets of Traveling

Traveling is glamourous. It effortlessly hints at wealth, freedom, beauty and youth, making it seem unattainable to anyone with a full-time job. Hell – just a few minutes on Instagram will lead you to believe that all of the travel bloggers, explorers and adventurers have a perfectly manicured life. Their days are beachy and soaked in champagne and tanning oil. Their evenings are moonlit and wrapped in romance. It’s perfection. And it’s also bullshit.

Traveling is Dirty

Now, I’m not talking about the occasional traveler on a 10-day vacation. I’m talking about real travelers. The ones that are crossing countless borders, conquering mountains, sipping ayahuasca and searching for enlightenment. The people that post their latest slice of paradise (myself included) and make it look like they’ve been given keys to a perfect life. We’re liars.

Spoiler: We Smell

My bright eyes and beaming smile might have you fooled, but after 4 flights and 22 hours of travel I am absolutely disgusting. Airplanes make you stink, the food makes you stink; we’re human and we stink.

When I’ve been searching for my hostel for an hour hauling around a 20-pound backpack, I am not a precious flower. I am gross.

Even under the best hygienic circumstances it can be difficult to keep it together. Lots of hostels don’t have hot water, and finding your cleanest outfit can be difficult when you only own five of them and washing machines are sparse. Have you ever wondered why so many traveling photos are taken in swimsuits? Because our clothing is really, really dirty.

There Are Bugs Everywhere

I grew up on a farm, so I thought I was prepared for the amount of creepy crawlies that I would encounter abroad. I was wrong.

In Spain a 3-inch cockroach crawled up my leg while I was sitting on the toilet, so I left my pants in the bathroom and never looked back. In Costa Rica I bathed in bug spray because dengue fever was akin to the common cold. I’ve found bugs in my bed, shoes, backpack, beverages and bra (seriously) and I can safely say I’ve eaten a few ants just because I was too lazy to pick them out of my food. Someone told me they’re full of protein.

Other Travelers Can Be Terrible

I like to think that there’s an unspoken bond between travelers and that we approach one another with care, respect and courtesy. While that might be true in most cases, there are some undeniably terrible travelers out there. People that use the airplane bathroom barefoot, have rambunctious sex with a vocal local in the hostel bed above you, steal your food and purposefully fail to assimilate because they can’t speak the language. Sometimes the worst part (and best!) part of traveling is sharing a living space with complete strangers.

We Get Sick

There’s a reason that Mayo Clinic has a page titled “Traveler’s Diarrhea.” New environments and bacteria can quickly lead to some of the most tortured travel you’ve ever experienced. It’s hard to enjoy the the Louvre when all you want to do is watch Netflix in the bathroom or have your mom feed you chicken noodle soup.

It’s Hard, But It’s Worth It

Despite the dirty days and long, sick nights, traveling still makes my soul vibrate. I’ve cried far more tears of joy than I have of pain, cultivating new forms of patience and building lifelong connections with people along the way. I quickly learned that I’d rather live out of my backpack than feel safe – and that’s okay. Adventure isn’t always glamorous, but it gives you a worldwide sense of community and belonging. A shopping spree or a fresh manicure can’t hold a candle to a warm beer on the beach with a stranger.

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