There is a prevailing (and somewhat dangerous) belief that sadness can actually be conquered if you’re strong enough.
“If you’re sad, try eating these 16 essential oils.”
“You should do some goat yoga!”
“What about meditation?”
“Maybe you should just try to FEEL happy.”
So what happens when we’ve tried everything and we fail to create our own happiness? Are we flawed? Weak? Ruined? No. We’re HUMAN – and it’s okay to be sad.
There are happy people everywhere. Both online and in person, these people seem to have all of their shit figured out. They are perfectly manicured, recently engaged, making money, buying houses and traveling the world – and don’t get me wrong, I’m one of them!
Once glance at my social media and you’ll see the shiny side of life. The filtered fun times, the sunshine, and the parts of my world that I’m willing to broadcast to a heap of strangers. Does this include grief or sadness? Absolutely not. Grief is too personal for me to offer up for judgement via the internet, but that doesn’t mean that it doesn’t exist.
Now don’t get me wrong – I spend a good chunk of my life being happy. So much so, in fact, that I feel guilty about being sad. I have a duty to myself to find ways to create bliss during times of sadness. I’m supposed to have it all figured out. I shouldn’t feel sad when there are so many people out there who are going through worse!
Well guys, I’ve gone through some major life changes recently, and I’m SAD. This doesn’t mean that I’m not excited about the future; I’m just not particularly excited about today.
Why are we so ashamed to experience sadness? We are inundated with this idea that it’s something to avoid or to hide from, when in reality we should be bathing in it. We should drink it in until we’ve cried it all out and we feel as though we’ve successfully processed the emotion – not just ignored it. Sadness is crucial to growth; when it visits, there’s no reason to fight the inevitable change.
While yoga, meditation and other forms of self-care can help you process grief, they can’t remove whatever is causing your sadness. Indulge in forms of self-care, but remind yourself that you aren’t a magician.
It’s not possible to feel happy every single day. It’s also important to note that there is a marked difference between a bout of sadness that will pass over time and an extended period of doom and depression. Clinical depression often requires medical intervention – and guess what? It’s okay to be sad and ask for help, too!
Sit with your sadness. You’re not alone.
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Such an important and well written message!
Thank you, Trish!