First off, I’d like to make a sweeping declaration: women are incredible. They are resourceful, inspiring, bewitching – and if you’re a woman, then you’re probably already aware of how awesome we are. In the past few years I’ve fallen madly in love with women, and it has unequivocally changed my life. I want you to fall in love with women, too.
Now, before we get started, I need to make a few clarifying statements. I am not romantically in love with women (although I’m sure if the right woman came along I could be) – I am in love with their deep, lasting friendship. I truly believe that female camaraderie is an essential part of daily life.
This post is not about male friendships (which I have many of), so don’t hit me with that “BUT WHAT ABOUT MEN? MEN CAN BE GREAT FRIENDS TOO!” diatribe. Yes, of course male friendships are awesome. But that’s not what this is about.
I’m not someone who is particularly… social. I love doing things alone (and often prefer it), but that doesn’t mean that I can’t recognize the role that female friendship plays in my life. When your heart is shattered because the bottom dropped out of your relationship or you have yet another hysterical pregnancy scare, sisterhood is everything.
Step 1: Admit You Have a Problem
When I was growing up, I wasn’t the biggest fan of women. Sure, I had female friends, but there was always this strange, underlying hyper-competitive edge. I judged what other women wore and how they looked. Believe it or not, I even made the painfully embarrassing claim that I “just get along better with men.” All in all, it’s likely that my inability let women into my heart revolved around my own insecurities and the fear that I would never be “good enough.”
In short: it had nothing to do with women, and everything to do with me.
I would, however, like to argue that my aversion to female attachment wasn’t entirely my fault. Film, television, magazines and even novels have normalized this idea that women can’t be friends – or at least they can’t be friends with someone outside of their “clique.” Women are portrayed as catty, cruel and sometimes just plain MEAN. These mediums, just like adolescent me, have it wrong. So what’s the point of this rambling essay? The point, my friends, is that if you don’t embrace, foster and nurture your female friendships, you’re missing out on one of the most beautiful parts of life. In a time when it is increasingly important that people of all gender identities unify and support one another, there is no excuse to be trashing other women or – at best – keeping them at an arm’s length.
Step 2: Make a Change
If this concept is new to you, NO SHAME. Again, we’ve been given a skewed template of female friendship. For the sake of your future happiness (and the happiness of everyone on the planet) I’ve compiled a list of easy instructions that will help you build lasting, meaningful female relationships.
If you want to fall in love with women, please don’t:
- Hate on another woman’s outfit. This wasn’t excusable in high school, and it definitely isn’t now. If you have a problem with what another woman is wearing, I suggest you take a very long, hard look at what that says about you.
- Sleep with another woman’s partner. I’ve done this. I was young, dumb and woefully insecure. I will also never do this again – and here’s why: I would be absolutely crushed if another woman did this to me. Remember that she isn’t faceless or nameless. She is just like you.
- Tell another woman that she “can’t.” Maybe she wants to open her own business. Maybe she wants to get her master’s degree. Maybe she wants to build a greenhouse and learn hydroponics. Cool! Whatever it is, tell her she’s unstoppable – not that she should stop.
- Gossip. You’re better than this.
- Call another woman slutty. As the great Christina Aguilera once said: “The guy gets all the glory, the more he can score, while the girl can do the same and yet you call her a whore.” It’s NONE OF YA DAMN BUSINESS.
- Be afraid. Women are warm, beautiful, open-hearted creatures. Approach them with kindness and watch your world transform.
Now go make it happen. Fall in love with women.
Want more Madison? Send her a message to talk shop about marketing, mobility, and – duh – to be her friend!
P.s. This one is dedicated to all of the incredible women in my life. You inspire me daily and I love you endlessly. Send me your favorite photos and I’ll add them to this super girly slide.
